Isn't it funny how we can get completely wrapped up in something that goes against who we are, what we believe in, and how we want to live our lives? It's funny now because I'm out of the worst of it. But 2 months ago it was all I could do to figure out how I was going to live without someone I had been in love with for so long.
With distance comes perspective. I know now that I was lying to myself about the whole situation and hoping and waiting for it to get better. All the while, my gut was telling me 'get out...this isn't you...why are you putting up with this S-H-I-T?' There were red flags going back to the beginning, and if I knew then what I know now I definitely would not have entertained the idea of a relationship. Still I loved.
But that's why they say hindsight is 20/20. If only foresight was 20/20.
Over the past two years I have really changed my lifestyle. At the time when we started dating I was concerned with little other than my plans for the weekend. I hadn't been effected by losing anyone to cancer yet; I still thought myself invincible. But more than that has changed. I feel like changing the food that I eat has changed the way I look at things. I learned that if I am to accomplish the things I want to accomplish I am going to have to surround myself with positive people who support me. I am going to have to be diligent about who I give my time and energy to. I am going to have to listen to myself, because deep down I know when something I am doing or someone I am spending time with doesn't agree with me.
Anyway, the reason I am writing to you about this is because I firmly believe that your state of mind and your state of happiness (or unhappiness) effects your health. Arguing is a stress response. Anxiety is a stress response. Crying is a stress response. Frustration is a stress response. All of these negative emotions have a physiological impact on your body and health. The hormones that are released during a stress response negatively impact your immune system which is in charge of keeping you healthy by getting rid of the bad things like bacteria and cancer cells. When you are constantly under stress (either self imposed or from something beyond your control) your immune system can't keep up.
There is already plenty of stressful S-H-I-T that we have to deal with in everyday life. Why is it then that we get stuck dating/marrying/living with/being friends with people who don't make us happy? Who hurt us emotionally and even physically? Who make our lives difficult? Who make you think maybe you are the problem and that you will never find anyone 'as good to you as they are'?
Who we choose to spend our lives with is one of the few things that we have control over, and in my opinion is one of the most important.
It's easy to get sucked into something without thinking about it. I'm sure as hell guilty of that. But this is going to be one of the things that I am aware of from now on, because I want to be totally conscious in choosing someone that is going to be such a huge part of my life- someone who could possibly impact my health. And (for the record) I will find someone who treats me better. That will be easy.
What are your views on peoples' mental state and their health? Do you think that being perpetually angry/sad/frustrated has anything to do with how they feel physically? or how sick they become?
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